so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
