I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
