my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
