nut hugger
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
