Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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