things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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