On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
