i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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