I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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