It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
