i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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