My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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