The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize