New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Someone shit on the floor
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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