the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
