Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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