if you like me you must not know who I am
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize