I wish I could teleport
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize