And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
