So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I looked at my own cervix.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
