I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
