Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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