he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
