none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
