Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
