Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize