I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
