so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
