NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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