that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
