YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
