omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
