Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
