So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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