Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
