Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
