Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
