i just google imaged poop.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
