i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
