Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He felt like a one man threesome
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
