You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize