The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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