Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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