you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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