I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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