He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
