R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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