When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
