Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
