so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
