Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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