wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
