I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
