Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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