he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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