alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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