does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
