i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
