I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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