living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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