That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
