If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
