I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
