Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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